BRAIN BUST

George W. Bush popped up on the news the other day before I had a chance to change the channel to something more relevant like ElimiDate or the latest expose on Britney Spears over on E! Fortunately, the sound was down so low I couldn’t hear a word Dubya was saying, though from his trademark sneer I guessed he was talking about his political capital or his “mandate” from the American people.

I detest that phrase, “the American people,” habitually used by politicians when they speak in our name. Not a one of them has ever asked my opinion and I routinely hang up on pollsters, so in fact, there isn’t a politician anywhere in this land who knows what I’m thinking.

Anyway, seeing Bush sneer reminded me of the election just passed, that dark night when it became clear that my side was getting trounced. I have awful memories of that red tide sweeping across the center of the nation and the electoral votes piling up for Dubya and Dick. No sane person wants to relive that horror.

As much as I didn’t want to, I began thinking about the Democrats and how badly we fared. Our message fell flat and our ideas seemed stale. The majority of our candidates were bland and boring. We failed to dislodge a sitting president who misled the country into a needless foreign entanglement, who squandered a budget surplus by lavishing millions on the rich, and who dismantled an array of environmental protections. How could this happen and who the hell was responsible?

Back in 2000, I blamed Al Gore for running a cautious, wimpy and lifeless campaign. In 2004, the ire I felt wasn’t directed at candidates as much as it was at their advisors, the Democratic brain trust, the message makers and spin doctors. Bob Shrum. James Carville. Terry McAuliffe. These men and others like them were the architects of our defeat, the reason our message paled beside Dubya’s simplistic gibberish.

Clearly, the Dems are desperate for fresh ideas, not to mention a major internal housecleaning. From here out when Democratic candidates hire consultants they should ask for a detailed track record, and if that record shows nothing but defeat and failure, they should keep searching.