View from the Bubble

The view from President Bush’s bubble is always rosy. Wonderful things are happening all across our great land. The economy is growing and robust, unemployment is low and incomes are rising; our millionaires are happy, and our billionaires think everything is just ducky; ok, we’ve hit a speed bump in Iraq, but if we remain resolved and inject 20,000 more soldiers, we can right the situation and turn Iraq into a flower of Democracy, a beacon of hope in the Middle East; we’ve got a minor addiction to fossil fuel, but hey, with “clean” coal and a few new nuclear power plants, everything will be hunky-dory; health care is a teeny problem that can be easily solved by taking away people’s health insurance rather than making health care more accessible; the damage wrought by Hurricane Katrina fixed itself with the help of a few charity concerts and a heckuva job by FEMA; our budget deficit can be erased with another round of tax “relief” for the wealthy.

Is this a great country or what? Because we love our freedom we don’t feel any need to invade weaker countries and threaten those that disagree with us. We’re way cool, and people around the globe know it. The bright side with W is far better than Daddy Bush’s thousand-points-of-light. Americans got it going on, dude. We’re kings of the scrap heap and sitting atop the dung hill. The rest of the world wishes it were in our sneakers, camped in our Lay-Z-Boy with a six-pack of Bud and a giant bag of Doritos, watching American Idol.

I couldn’t bring myself to watch the State of the Union speech, though from reading press reports and pundit comments, I gather Bush tried to dampen his mad-dog instincts and project a reasonable image. The White House staff seems to have made Bush aware that the Democrats won the mid-term elections and control both houses of Congress. Further, Bush finally accepts that Nancy Pelosi is a woman and a Democrat. Yes, I think we can confidently say that Bush is beginning to hit his stride as our chief executive. In two years he’ll be trained and ready to take on the job of Mayor of Crawford, Texas. The folks in Crawford are already preparing for the return of their favorite transplant, planning an inaugural parade down Main Street. Bush will ride a white stallion and fire his six-shooter into the air when he arrives at the courthouse for the swearing in. It’s going to be a big deal, that’s for certain. The Saudi royal family has already promised to foot the bill for the whole shebang. Ambassadors from Togo and Poland – staunch US allies in the Iraq conflict – have rsvp’d. The Comfort Inn down the street from the courthouse is sold out. The Rocking Horse Saloon out on the Lone Star Parkway is swapping its old Sony for a 50” plasma screen.

Only seven hundred and twenty-five days to wait.