New Beginnings

 “The single-minded pursuit of happiness, with happiness equated with hedonism, wealth, and power, creates a population consumed by anxiety and self-loathing.” Chris Hedges, America: The Farewell Tour

Moving day nears. On my 62nd birthday I watch West Ham versus Chelsea and then start packing, focusing on bookshelves. We have a lot of knick-knacks, theater playbills, photo albums. The boxes of books are heavy. While we prepare to move down the street, our son is moving from Los Angeles to San Francisco for a new job at the SF Opera. He and a friend stop by on their way north, in a 10’ U-Haul truck. My wife hands our son a Trader Joe’s bag full of treats and drinks for the road. When my mother called to wish me a happy birthday she told me that she will also be moving in May. The building she lives in is getting a plumbing overhaul, so rather than deal with daily noise and water outages, she’s moving in with a friend for a month. Strange that we’re all moving. In our case it’s long overdue. One way to tell you’ve lived in the same place too long is by the shadows left on the walls when pictures and mirrors are removed. 

So, I’m now 62. This blog is 17. Why do I keep at it? Why do I toss my words into the endless anonymity of the Internet? Must be ego, or stupidity, maybe narcissism. On the other hand, everyone needs a hobby to keep them out of mischief. 

I’m reading a fine book by William Deresiewicz called The Death of the Artist. It’s about the changes technology has wrought for writers, visual artists, and musicians. From Napster to Netflix, from three major television networks to streaming services that serve very specific slices of the viewing public. TV by subscription, on-demand, available on every one of our magic devices. Like all new technologies, it has made a few people very, very wealthy, but landed many more in precarious financial circumstances. Writers giving work away, spending hours and hours promoting themselves on social media in order to make money. It’s fascinating, and somewhat a downer for me as both my kids want to work in the Arts. 

In the midst of the latest spate of police violence I stumbled across a website called KnockLA and started reading an investigative series about the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department. It’s a serious piece tracking fifty years of egregious misconduct against citizens of color by sheriff gangs who went by names like The Vikings and Tasmanian Devils. Unique tattoos were common in these “law enforcement” gangs. They beat suspects mercilessly, shot and killed many, planted evidence, executed blatantly unlawful searches and seizures, and lied in court under oath. What I found more chilling was how gang members treated fellow deputies who refused to go along. I remember reading stories in the LA Times about Sheriff Sherman Block, and Lee Baca, but since LA county is a hundred-plus miles from Santa Barbara, the stories were abstract. Reading this series in light of what is happening between police and citizens of color all across this country feels more immediate. Over 30 years, LA County shelled out some 100 million taxpayer dollars in legal expenses and settlements. I don’t completely subscribe to the Defund the Police idea. I think money definitely needs to be diverted from the police to other public services. Law enforcement is in dire need of consistent standards. Some of the legal protections cops enjoy need to be removed. Not every dime should be shifted-- we need police -- but police trained to respect the laws they swear to uphold, and stripped of the majority of their military-grade hardware. Here’s a link to Knock LA: https://knock-la.com.

62. I stopped drinking last July 31, cut out beer, wine, gin, whisky. I thought alcohol was getting the best of me and that I was reaching for a beer too reflexively. It wasn’t hard to stop. I think I might have a wee drink of whisky this evening, raise a glass to new beginnings and good luck.