Cock's-Eye View

“In exactly this way, history is overwritten and redacted, cherry-picked and edited to glorify those with power and to silence those without.” Kali Holloway, The Nation

I’ve remained silent long enough, held back through the madness of these past six years; the tea I have to spill will make me the most famous cock in history, my story matters and it’s about time someone listens to me, after all, I’ve been dangling for more than seven decades between the legs of a Man-Child, forced now to spend my days enveloped in the thick moist padding of his Man-diaper while he wages legal war on multiple fronts and endless war on the Truth. Oh yes, my master, the 45th President of the United States, suffers from incontinence and flatulence, and often shits himself. From time to time he takes me out for exercise, but only after he pops Viagra, because without that magic pill he can’t get or sustain an erection. Despite his endless boasting and bragging about the legions of beautiful women who have experienced his/my prowess and size and girth, the fact is that I’m of average size and heft, nothing all that remarkable, though I suppose I appear massive in his tiny hand. Melania hasn’t touched me in years, and when Stormy fondled me I detected mirth in her fingertips. Now that I’m thinking about it, the last time Melania saw me she pointed and laughed derisively and said she gets more pleasure from her pinky finger. You can imagine how that went over with Man-Child. Threw an entire bucket of KFC on the carpet. When he starts throwing food you know he’s really angry…

Trust me when I tell you that nights at Mar-A-Lago are long. 

I’m trapped down here as Prometheus was on his mountainside, forced to endure endless hours of the Man-Child’s bitching and whining, his lies, boasts -- greatest this, best ever at that, so rich, a perfect physical specimen (this one makes me giggle) -- and constant need for attention and adoration and praise and reassurance. Frankly, it’s exhausting and nauseating. Why so many people in this country fell -- and continue to fall -- for this man’s nonsense only proves that the average man’s cock is smarter than the man the cock is affixed to. I can’t speak for women, except to marvel at those of you who refuse to acknowledge that Man-Child is a pig and misogynist. Are you blind or what? Be honest -- would you allow your teenage daughter to be in a room alone with him? 

I’m shocked at the stupidity of people, in particular people with elite educations, law degrees, every possible credential, and how they continually get Man-Child dead wrong. Why wasn’t it obvious to all of you that Man-Child was never, ever, going to accept the results of the election if he lost? He told you as much more than a year in advance -- the election was fair if he won and rigged if he lost, his usual heads-I-win-tails-you-lose gambit…had he lost by twenty million votes he still would have declared victory and fraud. How many court challenges did he lose, 62 out of 63, a legal smack-down by any measurement, yet he’s got almost the entire Republican Party and millions of people believing his Big Lie. America is certainly Numero Uno in Dumbness. Long live Idiocy!

I’ll let you in on something else that should be obvious: January 6, 2021 was the best, most fulfilling day of Man-Child’s otherwise misbegotten life. I’m serious. Even the birth of his children pales against the high he felt that January day, and I should know because when he saw all those people with their flags and buttons and hats, he/I became fully erect and stayed at attention for a long time, an impressive feat of endurance in my humble opinion. My veins popped and my head turned purple and my nuts twitched, and the only other time this happens is when he fantasizes about Ivanka. Man-Child couldn’t take his eyes away from the TV, he kept saying, “Look at that crowd, that big, beautiful crowd. They love me, they love me.” I remember that a steady stream of people, including Ivanka, who reminds me of one of those robots on Westworld, begged Man-Child to do something, get on TV, order his supporters to stand down and go home. That was like asking Satan to douse the fires of Hell. Jared lurked nearby, too (now there’s a real prick, though between Jared and Mark Meadows it’s a toss up). I know Man-Child is reported to have demanded that he be driven to the Capitol because he wanted to march with his people, but keep in mind one thing about Man-Child: he’s a physical coward, a honest-to-God pussy. Yeah, he talks tough, like a mob boss, but he’s always the first to cut and run when the shit gets real. He ducked the draft, remember? 

You’re not convinced, I see that, you want to believe in the myth, no matter how perverse, maybe you enjoy the spectacle, the chaos created by this supposedly wealthy man who is always asking others for money, the strong man who habitually paints himself as the victim, the tax cheat who trades on his claims of being a genius businessman, the anti-Semite who boasts about being as ethical as a rabbi. Still don’t get the picture? Then you should know that he despises you, all of you, in your red-hats and garish t-shirts, but for now you remain useful to him as props in his reality show. A day will come when he no longer needs you, and won’t you feel stupid then? Who likes to be scammed, conned, tricked, manipulated, used and discarded? Man-Child treats people the same way he treats condoms. Mark the words of this humble old cock! Save your mortal soul before it’s too late.