Showing posts with label Mar-A-Lago. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mar-A-Lago. Show all posts

Friday, April 09, 2021

FRESH OUT OF LAWYERS, GUNS AND MONEY

 


“Like all living organisms, trees die. But what is happening here is not normal. Large patches of trees are dying simultaneously, and saplings aren’t growing to take their place.”  Emily Ury, The Guardian


America, America, America, turning into an open air prison, building Walls, turning public space into private, patrolled space, installing cameras and motion sensors, armed security guards. Angry country, as evidenced by mass shootings and slow deaths of despair. We draw the boundary lines and designate what tribe controls what. Won’t be long before states with fresh water supplies fight against states in the grip of drought. Hard to imagine the next decade being anything but a major downer, a clusterfuck the likes of which we’ve not seen. One day some people will look back and say, You know, it wasn’t that bad, even with Covid and the takeover by Christian Fascists. We got along alright. We adapted. Of course some got along in more style and comfort than others, this is America, after all. Trust, but verify in the age of Fear; Hunter S. Thompson called it the Kingdom of Fear -- a decade and a half ago. Evidence of the losing streak we’re stuck on. Too many guns, too few people able to consistently cast a ballot, too much injustice and inequality, too many needy, hungry, and broken. What manner of madness have we created here, on this once fruited plain? Of course that’s not true, either. If ever it was fruited, it was only for some, not all; there was plenty, but little equality. Riches for some, subsistence or slavish struggle for many others. 


Accept and normalize. Democracy may die with a whimper. New doors have opened, new ways to suppress the vote of some, magnify that of others, new ways to deny the popular will. The Would Be Lord down in Mar-a-Lago pointed the way, showed how pliable institutions are, how corrupt and complicit, from the Florida congressional district that barfed up Matt Gaetz, to the waste of an elite education represented by Josh Hawley, to Trump’s idiot children, and that insufferable prick Jared Kushner, to Ted Cruz, Ron Johnson and Marco Rubio. What a fucking joke. Stephen Miller. All this performative politics, this grotesque American theater, the ineptitude we saw close-up and nationwide when Covid hit and key institutions failed, faltered, fabricated and fucked up, with almost all the death and fear and distrust down to Donald J. Trump and his loyal enablers in the Republican Party. 9/11, Katrina, Trump, Covid. Party over country, and power over principle, year after year, that’s the GOP’s bread and butter power. Trump accelerated our slide to the bottom, Biden’s trying to slow it down. John Boehner is out with a book longing for the good old days of the GOP, the Tea Party days, when the entire party wasn’t beholden to a moron. Boehner’s on the rehabilitation tour now, looking for broken pieces he can collect, use as collateral to wield some influence, maybe rake in a bit of coin in the process.


Meanwhile, we sit in our homes, apartments, cottages, penthouses, basements, suites, condos, duplexes, tippees, or tin-roofed shacks, if such are still around in this day and age. I suppose they exist, in other places, where the cost of land isn’t as dear, places far from the cooling ocean breeze and red-tile splendor of downtown, out in the arid hinterlands where the heat shimmers and dust storms erupt. If we’re among the lucky we sit and wait for GrubHub to deliver dinner. Material wants and needs satisfied with ease on our phones, through the almost instantaneous transfer of funds. That’s some impressive shit, when you stop and think about how quickly we can turn a want into reality. Dropped on our doorstep by a chunky brown-skinned man in a blue Amazon van. Amazon is where we get our food and medicines, our toilet paper, our tampons, our pots and pans, our slow cookers, our tablets, our dildoes and scented lubricants. Amazon for everything, even, sooner or later, XXX porn. Yes, one day King Bezos will figure out a way to make huge profits from porn, he will control the pipes that carry the images, movies, whatever you fancy and are willing to pay for. Any sensible person can figure out the problem with monopolies and the people who own them. It’s pretty simple. Too much ends up in too few hands, and by too much I mean the obscene wealth of men like Bezos, Gates, and Musk. Pick your favorite plutocrat. We can have such people, but we cannot have democracy, too. Even limited democracy is difficult when so few control so much. But I get the frustration with democracy, it’s a slow, time-consuming, at times enervating process, and building any kind of political consensus with staying power is long game work. Social movements that stay in the game, on mission and message, that are adaptable and relevant, that avoid internal corruption and external co-optation are hard to build. Autocracy, on the other hand, can be speedy and decisive -- and disastrously, murderously wrong. Pick your poison. 


Is it better to toil in the gig economy than to work the line at General Motors under the United Autoworkers banner? Unions help working people and that’s why the political right has waged war on unions since Reagan broke PATCO. Look it up, younger readers. That broke the dam. But unions have problems of their own, no matter how much they profess to be “member run” and “democratic.” Power does things to people. A guy starts out in the union battling the tight-assed owner in cover-alls and boots, and sometimes ends up looking like a mirror image of the hated boss, and not only in dress and manner and speech, but in the way he acts the closer he gets to the center of power. Power is corrosive and has to be checked. It’s a diabolically difficult balance. 


In a jam, back to the wall, and fresh out of lawyers, guns and money. What’s a man with no property to do? Whose flag does such a man rally around? Where does such a man find like-minded souls? Down at the Fool’s Cafe where the patrons recite poetry and throw knives, and chant to bring about the brotherhood of man. This world’s crazy. It’s upside down and inside out. Thinking too much about where we go from here could be hazardous to your health. 



Sunday, January 26, 2020

Fever Dream #111 - Trump Pulls the Trigger



On a Saturday night at Mar-A-Lago, hours after Melania had retired to her private quarters with a splitting headache and a chipped fingernail, and most of the sycophants who surround him had drifted off, Trump, for no apparent reason other than he felt like it, fired three shots at a housekeeper named Esmeralda Ruiz Rosales, better known around Mar-A-Lago as Lupita. Trump used a 22-caliber pearl-handled pistol he had borrowed from Rudy Guiliani. It was 1:13 a.m. Several members of Trump’s Secret Service detail witnessed the president pull the trigger, and saw Lupita fall flat on her back on the carpet. They saw Trump slip the .22 in his coat pocket and walk away as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. 

Lupita was 52 years old, a grandmother of four, and had worked at Mar-A-Lago for years, but had never met Trump. Her grown children despised the president and often told her she should quit working for his racist empire. The president’s Secret Service detail immediately sealed the property off. FBI and Secret Service reinforcements were called in. Someone got Vice President Pence on the phone. Pence had been woken from a very pleasant dream about Jesus Christ, especially the part when Jesus whispered to him,“It’s really you, Mike, you’re the chosen one, not that idiot Trump. What do you take for me?” 

Guests were ordered to remain in their rooms with the lights off and doors locked. Dozens of cooks, maids, housekeepers, bartenders, servers, a grumpy plumber and one catering manager were herded into the ballroom where they were ordered to surrender their phones, identification, keys, ID badges and sit quietly until further instructions were issued by the authorities. To use the bathroom you had to ask an agent, and be escorted there and back. Only one person at a time. This was a problem because the nearest working bathroom was a hike away. (Trump properties are known for their quirky plumbing.) But the Secret Service team was not fooling around this night, not after what a few had seen with their own eyes. Within fifteen minutes Mar-A-Lago was swarming with FBI agents in full combat gear. Trump was in his private suite, watching Fox News, utterly oblivious to what was going on not 400 feet from his bedroom. The president still had Guiliani’s pistol because none of the Secret Service agents had thought to ask him for it. 

In the ballroom Secret Service agents huddled with FBI agents amid the ringing of house phones and the buzzing, vibrating, chiming, and pinging of cell phones. Nobody in an official capacity seemed to know what to do. An FBI agent whispered to the Secret Service agent next to her, “Hey, you guys ever run scenarios on shit like this? When the President shoots somebody?” “Never,” replied the Secret Service agent. “Never needed to before January 20, 2017. It’s a new era.” Finally, a burly FBI man with a shiny bald head entered the room and took command. He barked orders left and right and the agents stepped to it. The bald FBI guy walked over and kneeled next to Lupita’s body. A puzzled look crossed his face, as if he had walked in on Mike Pence having sex with Lindsey Graham. The look was part disgusted, and part like, well of course Mike Pence is having sex with Lindsey Graham. 

At 2:10 a.m. Trump tweeted: A short while ago I shot an intruder here at Mar-A-Lago. Thank God for our beautiful right to bear arms. Let this be a lesson to anyone who tries to harm ME or the TRUMP family. 

Within minutes -- and one can only surmise how Fox News got the scoop when there was a virtual communications blackout in place -- Fox reported that the president had killed an Iranian terrorist who had breached Mar-A-Lago security by masquerading as a housekeeper. Citing White House sources, Fox reported that the terrorist’s target was the First Lady, and that this was clearly an act of revenge by Iran for the killing of General Qasem Soleimani. Reporters and TV crews and satellite trucks descended on Mar-A-Lago. Sirens wailed in the darkness. 

Vice President Mike Pence issued a statement, first thanking God for Trump’s bravery and heroism, then promising that the United States would take appropriate action against the Iranian regime once more facts about the attempted assassination of the First Lady were known. All options, Pence solemnly intoned, with what for him was real, honest feeling, were on the table. “Iran will not get away with this craven act of terrorism,” said the vice president. “We ask God to protect President Trump, and the Godly and Obedient and Righteous people of the United States of America.” 

At 2:33 a.m. Trump tweeted again: I’m the best shot! I was first in my class at West Point in shooting. Don’t worry, America, all is well! Your beloved First Lady is safe and sound! Iran will pay for this! 

Back in the ballroom, the Secret Service and the FBI struggled to keep the staff calm, particularly after Lupita was helped to her feet by the same bald FBI agent who had kneeled next to her. The agent, who towered above tiny Lupita, steadied the dazed woman as they walked to a table in the far corner of the room. Several of Lupita’s coworkers crossed themselves, others gasped, a few clapped. “It must have been a drill,” someone said. “Yeah,” one of the cooks muttered in Spanish, “it’s just more bullshit. That’s all there is around here, bullshit.” The ballroom buzzed. More agents arrived, in twos and threes. Radios crackled and hissed. An FBI helicopter circled Mar-A-Lago.  

At 2:51 Trump tweeted: The fake news media is reporting that I shot a housekeeper, not a terrorist. Lies! Iran attacked Mar-A-Lago! I will be addressing the nation shortly.

In Teheran the Iranian foreign minister issued this statement: The Islamic Republic of Iran had nothing to do with this reported attack on Mar-A-Lago. When we take our revenge for the assassination of Qasem Soleimani it will not be against Mrs. Trump. She has suffered enough just being married to the halfwit. 

Trump addressed the nation at 3:30 a.m. Trump’s skin looked peach-colored. 

So, I was walking in my stunning resort, one of the very best in the world, and this Iranian looking woman -- you can’t always tell, but this time I could, never a doubt, she was definitely Iranian -- walks straight at me with this blood-lust in her eyes. At first I mistook her for Nancy Pelosi. But it wasn’t Nasty Nancy, and it wasn’t Shifty Schiff, I will tell you that. I’ve looked death in the eye many times in my life. Nobody’s ever looked into death’s eyes more than Donald Trump. If you’re in the real estate business in New York City, you know what I mean. Once I knew this woman was there to get me, I stepped into action. I was very good friends with the great San Francisco homicide detective Harry Callahan. Great guy, he taught me a lot. Said I was the best shot he’d ever seen, even better than him and he was the greatest. There are streets named after him all over America, and if there aren’t any, there should be, and we can make that happen very soon. It will be great for the country. Instinctively I put my hand in my pocket and felt this lovely little .22-caliber revolver. Pearl-handled, really nice, fits my hand well. I drew, aimed, and fired three shots. Bang, bang, bang. My shooting form was perfect, right, like everything else I do. Perfect is what I do. Perfect economy. Perfect military. Perfect phone calls...

I was calm because I knew the terrorist was dead. She wasn’t moving, just real still. I stepped over the body and walked to my suite. The Secret Service and the FBI are taking care of the rest. Attorney General Barr, the greatest AG in history, is on it. If there’s any evidence to be found, Barr will find it and then he’ll never let anyone else see it, even if he’s subpoened by Congress or hung by his ankles from the Golden Gate Bridge. Great guy. 

The last we hear of Lupita is her shouting, “You can’t send me back to Mexico. I’m from Des Moines! I’m an American citizen you idiots!” 

At 4:30 a.m., a forensic technician from the FBI extracted a .22-caliber bullet from the ceiling, a second bullet from a baseboard, and a third from a potted palm tree.