Nothing to Fear

When will the next terror scare hit the TV airwaves? It’s about time for an orange or yellow alert, about time for Dick Cheney to assert in that low-key way of his that an attack is imminent, and about time for the Fox News gang to repeat the Administration’s assertion until it becomes a fact. That’s how we do things in America now, isn’t it? Whoever can make a lie stick wins. Scream the lie loud, scream it often and you can rule.

I saw the President’s recent outdoor press conference on the Internet and was appalled. More than ever, Bush reminds me of a spider monkey amped on crystal meth. Bush can’t answer a straightforward question without becoming agitated. “War on Terror, the enemy is everywhere, he hates our freedom, it’s my job to protect the American people from attack,” and so on through the standard Karl Rove-approved phrases. Bush gets exasperated when reporters press him to back up his assertions with facts or logic. Bush flashes his trademark sneer, as if the press people are too dense to grasp the essential truth, and tersely signals for the next question.

It’s a sad and embarrassing scene whenever Bush holds a press conference. It takes all my will not to change the channel over to Animal Planet or Cartoon Network. I wonder if the rumors I’ve read about Bush suffering from syphilis are true; the man certainly seems like he’s in the throes of a mental meltdown. One day, years in the future, we will learn that spirochetes were attacking Bush’s central nervous system in 2006, causing him to act erratically. Video clips of Bush cutting brush on his Crawford, Texas ranch will be aired over and over, to remind Americans of the President at his best, and to set the stage for the rehabilitation of Bush’s image. Most Americans will feel sorry for George, just as they felt sorry for Richard Nixon when the end came. You know our collective memory is short and faulty when an evil man like Richard Nixon is buried with honors; the same thing will happen when George W. croaks, and for those Americans who feel like they’ve been living in Hell the past five years, the media frenzy when W kicks will be an insult to our sensibilities.

How many years will it take to live down the Bush legacy? How many years before our former friends and allies trust us again? Christ, what a depressing thought! The ghost of W will be around when I qualify for Medicare.

But, on the plus side of the ledger, the GOP assures us that the economy is booming and that we are safe from bearded terrorists, lesbians, gay men, Liberals, feminists, the ACLU, unions, drug dealers and illegal immigrants. In other words, all is well and we have nothing to fear, thanks to W and the GOP. That our government is immoral, hypocritical, violent, racist, and incompetent should not trouble our sleep.