Meg Whitman, wealthy EBay queen, is prepared to spend around $150 million to become the next Governor of California. Apparently, nobody close to Meg has told her what a thankless job she’s after. Oh well. If Meg is successful in outspending her opponents – and odds are that she will by a wide margin – she will learn the terrible truth: the state she so badly wants to revive is ungovernable.
Like the current governor, Meg Whitman is an eternal optimist who wants to do for California what she did for EBay, namely, bring optimism and opportunity to all! Noble goals to be sure, and if we hadn’t heard the same claptrap a hundred times before we might even believe it.
Let’s not forget that Arnold Schwarzenegger blew into Sacramento promising to nuke the boxes and rid state government of fraud, waste and abuse. Arnold was going to take Sacramento by its lapels and shake until government spending fell and school children achieved stupendous scores on standardized tests, stopped gorging themselves on junk food and became physically fit; until plenty of cheap water flowed to central valley farmers, and the brown haze above Los Angeles magically vanished; until thorny immigration issues disappeared. Oh yes, Arnold was going to bring California’s glory back, kicking and screaming if necessary.
Make-believe worked in Hollywood, why couldn’t it work in Sacramento?
For any number of reasons, though the most compelling of all is King Paralysis, the toughest, nastiest motherfucker in the capitol, the dude who murders campaign promises and makes a mockery of reform. Meg Whitman has yet to meet the King, but when she does she’ll never forget the experience.
The King boasts a terrifying arsenal: sacred cows like Prop 13, term limits, a dysfunctional budget process that requires a supermajority to pass any tax or spending proposals, partisan bickering that makes an inner city preschool look civil, legislative gerrymandering that insures the election of extremist crackpots who believe that compromise equals weakness, and an out of whack initiative process.
What sort of damned fool wants to stand toe-to-toe with King Paralysis? OK, Jerry Brown I understand – he wasn’t known as Governor Moonbeam for nothing. Schwarzenegger ran for vanity and ego, and because the sun was setting on his movie career. It wasn’t as if Arnold was going to be cast as Hamlet or King Lear, and no studio was clamoring to make Terminator IV, V or VI. Arnold was antsy and for her own peace of mind Maria wanted him out of the house. Why not leap into the political arena?
Whitman has more jack than she knows what to do with, though why she’s willing to piss it away campaigning for a job that’s destined to humble her is a mystery. Has Meg had a full and complete psychiatric evaluation? We may never know because Whitman’s handlers are playing it coy, keeping Meg away from the media and saturating the airwaves with ads that paint her as tough, smart, competent, brave, compassionate, visionary and kind. In short, the savior that California desperately needs.
Well, why not? We tried Gray Davis, a wimpy career politician, and he got run out of Sacramento. We gave Schwarzenegger, a Hollywood actor, a shot and he will leave the state worse off than he found it. So why not hand the reins to a hot shot corporate CEO who made investors happy as pigs in slop?
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