Visions of George

There’s a vision stuck in my cranium: George W. Bush is standing on the White House lawn, alone, speaking into a wireless microphone that doesn’t work. Behind him, the White House is engulfed in flames and thick smoke is pouring from the windows; sirens wail and frantic staff members carry portraits, china, chairs, busts and documents out of the building; police, fire and Blackwater helicopters hover overhead. It’s a scene of chaos and panic, like Saigon in 1975.

But Bush is serene, as always, with his trademark monkey smirk in place. As if addressing the nation he says, “My fellow Americans, ignore the mayhem going on behind me. I can assure you that everything is under control. In fact, we’re doing a heckuva job. I’ve just presented my budget proposal to Congress, and I want to tell you that it’s a sound, fiscally responsible document. Now, a lot of so-called experts say that our economy is heading south. I call such people cowards. I’m the President and I say the economy is fundamentally sound, which is why my proposal calls for more of the same. We’re going to stay the course and make my tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans permanent. Why? Because American millionaires and billionaires deserve tax relief so that they can buy more homes, cars, private jets and jewelry. Our millionaires and billionaires may not need tax relief, but I think we should give it to them anyway. We’re going to increase funding for the wars we started in Afghanistan and Iraq because to do anything less would be a disservice to our patriotic defense contractors. We’ll pump more money into useless homeland security projects in Montana and Idaho. We’re going to continue corporate welfare programs because it’s a competitive world out there and American companies need all the help we can give them. The American people may not deserve taxpayer-supported assistance, but American corporations do. We’ll continue privatization of essential public services, maintain blind faith in the free market, and strip away even more of the regulatory framework that protects ordinary Americans but gets in the way of big business.

“Now my fellow Americans, some of you are mildly concerned about the wild swings in the stock market or the minor downturn in the housing market. Let me assure you that if we stay the course and continue doing what we’ve done the past seven years, we will achieve spectacular results. Skeptics, cynics and Liberals think this is crazy talk, but my belief in voodoo economics is as strong today as it was the day the Supreme Court put me in the White House. Coincidentally, I also believe in Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the lost city of Atlantis. And like my father before me, I believe fervently in staying the course, in a thousand points of light, and in the joy of wielding a well-oiled chain saw. So, my fellow Americans, I bid you good day, God speed, and may the force be with you.”

Thankfully, this is only a twisted vision brought on by an overdose of Presidential primaries and reading the Wall Street Journal. On the other hand, in service of a corrupt ideology Bush and his cronies have so thoroughly pig-fucked the United States of America that we are sure to suffer for many years to come.