State of the Union -- According to TRUMP

“But that was some other era, burned out and long gone from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord…” Hunter S. Thompson, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

 -Thank you, Mr. Speaker. Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and fellow citizens, I stand before you as the greatest president in American history, the most popular, most loved, and most successful. Everybody is saying that my first year in office has been one long winning streak for our great country. The stock market is skyrocketing, because of me; our tax code finally makes sense, because of me; ISIS is defeated, because of me; we are taking control of our borders, because of me; violent crime is way down and our inner cities are being reborn, because of me; the middle-class is growing by leaps and bounds, because of me. In one year I have accomplished more than my predecessor did in eight years. Just goes to show what can happen when a real American, who also happens to be a genius -- a very stable genius -- occupies the White House.

-Our ratings are great, we’re breaking records every day. You may have seen that Apple will soon invest $550 billion in manufacturing plants here in America, which means hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of great jobs for American workers. Think of it, very soon, American workers in Wichita and Youngstown and Camden will be assembling iPhones for the world. This is phenomenal, and something my predecessor could never have accomplished because he never understood the art of the deal.

-America is winning again, and winning large, like my favorite NFL team, the New England Patriots. In my first year in office I met with more world leaders and logged more air miles than any president in modern history, and wherever I traveled, people lined the streets, waving, showing their love for me and my brilliant administration and our great country. The people of Saudi Arabia love me, the jews of Israel love me like one of their own, and the inhabitants of Puerto Rico view me as their savior. We are winning across the globe because I put America first like no previous president has done. Who else but me could toss rolls of paper towels to the people like I did when I personally organized the recovery and rebuilding of Puerto Rico, which, I might add, has been a tremendous success. Puerto Rico is back on track.

-Because I always put America first, I pulled our country out of the Paris Climate deal, a terrible deal, and look what happened: our economy is booming, blacks are doing better than ever, women are doing better than ever. All because of me. And while we’re on the subject of women, people are always saying how much I respect women, which is true, nobody respects women more than I do. This is why ten days or so ago women gathered in the streets by the tens of thousands all across the country to march in support of my administration. The fake news media reported that women were protesting, but we know the truth, don’t we?

-A lot of people are saying that my administration is the most transparent and ethical in American history, filled with individuals of the highest personal qualities, very fine people, who would never place private gain above public good. Only I could drain the Washington swamp in a year. Another promise kept. My administration is a well-oiled machine the likes of which has never been seen before. This is why I have passed more legislation in my first year than any other president.

-On the international front the United States has never been more respected. Iran and North Korea understand that I will not tolerate any threat to our great country. My generals, how I love my generals, are prepared to defend America from any foreign threat, and our fighting men and women are the best the world has ever seen. A lot of people are saying that the morale and spirit of our military forces has improved since I became commander-in-chief. I am not afraid to use our military power, including nuclear weapons. Every one of our enemies should know this. I hope Little Rocket Man is listening very carefully.

-Never has our great country been more united. We are one nation under a benevolent God who protects and keeps us safe from the evil in this world. Only I could make this happen, as only I know how to make America great again. All you need to know is that as long as I’m president, we will keep winning. Thank you, and may God Bless the United States of America, and me, of course, your very own dear leader.

California Burning, America Vanishing

Parts of California are burning. October and November are fire season in the Golden State, but what has happened in the Napa area boggles the imagination -- some neighborhoods look like they were bombed by an invading army. Houses reduced to smoldering ash, cars torched, as if Mother Earth pitched a temper tantrum and decided to retaliate for how shabbily we have treated her. Climate scientists have been warning for years that one potential result of human-caused climate change will be fiercer storms, floods, and wildfires. Houston, Puerto Rico, Napa. Get the idea now?

I have Trump fatigue. How about you?

The Orange Buffoon embodies the most reprehensible and vile aspects of the American character: ignorance, bombast, greed, cruelty, racism, arrogance, and violence. In less than a year, Trump has turned the White House into a risible shitshow. His approval rating is in the low 30’s and will not climb any higher unless he launches war against North Korea or Iran, in which case the political class and corporate media will grovel at his feet and a majority of Americans will rally around him as if he were the reincarnation of George Washington. All occupants of the Oval Office understand this reliable escape route from tanking poll numbers or domestic scandal.

Neal Gabler wrote a piece for the Bill Moyers website recently that put forth the idea that we are viewing Trump and his entourage of miscreants through the wrong lens. We can’t, Gabler wrote, view Trump through the standard political lens but must view him through the lens of entertainment, of ratings and clicks and social media traffic, the same lens through which we see Kim Kardashian. Trump, with his incessant demand for attention and adulation, is flipping the usual script, replacing politics with entertainment, and as long as people keep tuning in, he will keep attacking African-American athletes, US senators, the mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico, the people of Puerto Rico, his own Secretary of State, and the corporate media; he will constantly up the ante and create false drama with arch comments like, “You’ll see.” An approval rating in the low 30’s matters little when you can still command all the media attention, and when that attention is all you care about. Gabler’s hypothesis is intriguing and might be the only way to understand the disaster that is Donald Trump.

While Trump preens, postures, lies, attacks, threatens, and makes an ass of himself, the kleptocrats around him are doing serious damage to the nation, making every economic, social and environmental problem worse by dint of their greed and incompetence. The Trump Administration’s response to the devastation of Puerto Rico is criminal, but no matter how many Puerto Ricans suffer or perish, you can bet that no one will be held accountable. That is, unfortunately in this awful year of our lord 2017, how our system works -- the political and economic elites, the wealthy, play by a completely different set of rules. Like white police officers who gun down unarmed black men, there is never a penalty to pay.

When our country is this jacked up and corrupt, nobody is obligated to stand for the national anthem, salute the flag, or recite the pledge of allegiance. No matter what Trump and Mike Pence and Jeff Sessions say, dissent is never unpatriotic. Dissent is the essence of patriotism. If we don’t demand an end to predatory capitalism, rigged elections, shitty medical care, endless wars, racism, gun violence, jingoism, and ecocide, nothing will change. Kneel, sit, bow your head, turn your back, raise a clenched fist, be an American, stand for something and demand better before it’s too late.

Take a Knee

“But even he knew that things would turn out all right in the end. They would, because they had to.” Arundhati Roy, The Ministry of Utmost Happiness

Where to begin? Puerto Rico? The NFL? College basketball? Another week of Donald J. Trump’s vicious idiocy. Another week in which the United States is diminished in the eyes of the world. The mind reels, the gut convulses, but this is a logical juncture in a country that rewards the most perverse incentives, that puts profit above human life, that wages war indiscriminately, that thinks tax cuts for those with the most is sound economic policy, and that refuses to come to grips with the fact of climate change.

Which brings me back to Puerto Rico, our island colony. I wrote an angry e-mail to my congress person, complaining about the tepid response from Washington to the humanitarian crisis on the island. Imagine, I wrote, if Santa Barbara County had been hit by back-to-back magnitude 7.5 earthquakes. Would you accept the foot-dragging currently on display in Washington? Our idiot president is too busy attacking African-American athletes for exercising their first amendment right to protest injustice, racism, and violence to fret about Puerto Rico; besides, we’re not talking about aiding white Americans, right? Puerto Rico was in distress before Irma and Maria devastated the island, held in bondage by an unelected Fiscal Control Board hellbent on extracting every last nickel to satisfy bankers and hedge fund managers and God knows who else. Capitalism and humanitarian impulses are not compatible. But don’t worry, Puerto Rico, Trump is going to pay you a visit soon. Don’t be surprised if he tries to sell you some hats.

So, it appears that the FBI has determined that some NCAA basketball programs are cheating. The shock! Of course NCAA colleges and universities cheat. They do it because there is inordinate pressure to win, to build a team that can go far into the annual March tournament and thereby rake in big money for the school. I hate college sports. I don’t watch them. The day I might watch is the day college athletes are paid to play the games. As it stands, many college athletes are being exploited, as are most workers in a capitalist system. Add the NCAA to the long list of American institutions soiled and compromised by greed.

I don’t watch NFL games either, not simply because I find American football utterly boring, which I do, but because the NFL -- more than any other professional sport league -- is a die-hard promoter of the American war machine. If the NFL wants to hawk beer, automobiles, cell phones, carbonated beverages or artery-destroying fast food, go ahead, but get the hell out of the war promotion racket, tell the Pentagon to fuck off.

Ah, but are we not Americans who love violence? Yes, we are.  We can’t live without bloodsport. Our president acts like he’s a tough guy, but it’s clear that Trump is a pussy who wouldn’t last 10 seconds in a street brawl. Sad, pathetic excuse of a white man, draft dodger, insecure blowhard. Can you imagine Trump as a soldier in a war zone? He’d shit his fatigues in thirty seconds and start wailing like a baby, probably call for his nanny or Melania.

Don’t be surprised that Tom Price has resigned in disgrace for flying in luxury on the people’s thin dime. If you are a regular reader of this page you know that I refer to the Trump administration as Trump and the Kleptocrats. Every last one of these motherfuckers signed onto the Trump team thinking it would lead to a trip to the bank. These people are punks and thieves.

Take a knee, and then rise up.