Lie-Fest 2019

“We read to remember. We read to forget. We read to make ourselves and remake ourselves and save ourselves.”  Maria Popova

The economy is fantastic thanks to our rollback of useless regulations. Manufacturing jobs are flocking back to our great country by the millions. Eight beautiful new steel mills have been built and are producing gorgeous American-made steel. Oil and gas exploration is off the charts. Our healthcare system is the best on the planet. We gave the middle-class the largest tax cut in history. Foreign leaders now know without any doubt that America is back, that we are strong and getting stronger, that our military is the greatest and our airplanes the fastest. We have great relationships with our allies, including the magnificent nation of Saudi Arabia. In two years my brilliant administration has accomplished more than any administration in American history, and we’ve done it by following the highest ethical standards. America is winning on every front, every single day and when we have border security...when we stop the flow of drugs, murderers and terrorists who stream across our southern border...

I know how Trump’s turn in the spotlight will go. If he manages to read from the teleprompter he might, maybe, make more sense than he does when speaking extemporaneously. The Republicans in the House chamber will have been instructed by their leaders to clap raucously, no matter what drivel comes out of Trump’s mouth and to rise to their feet on cue. Democrats will likely sit very quietly, hands in their laps (or covering their eyes). Nancy Pelosi will stare at the back of Trump’s head, searching for clues to his comb-over. Others will stare at their phones, pissed at having to bear witness to an empty spectacle, in the company of a lazy, incompetent, brutish and cruel man with a dead soul. They will wonder how much longer  this will go on. How many lies can one man tell in less than an hour? Do those people across the aisle, mostly men, mostly white, believe anything he says? Ninety-two percent of political life is pure bullshit, benign lies, words designed to sound substantial but evaporate like morning dew, fake smiles and false promises. I feel your pain tripe, I’m with you, you have my support. This guy is 100% Grade A bullshit. On his best day he’s barely coherent. He doesn’t read! He trusts no one! My toddler has a longer attention span. What do the Russians have on him? It can’t be a pee tape, that wouldn’t embarrass him in the least. Has to be money, dirty money that came to Trump for a wash. American banks cut him off, remember, because he ran every one of his ventures into the ground. Jesus Christ, Trump couldn’t make money in the casino racket, what does that tell you? He’s still talking, how can he still be talking, and about what? How can this guy be president? Who turned the world upside down?

I won’t be watching. I’d rather watch an iron pipe oxidize. We need to turn Trump off, kill the microphone and the lights, and simply ignore him, let him wither like a vine in need of sunlight.

State of the Union -- According to TRUMP

“But that was some other era, burned out and long gone from the brutish realities of this foul year of Our Lord…” Hunter S. Thompson, Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

 -Thank you, Mr. Speaker. Ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and fellow citizens, I stand before you as the greatest president in American history, the most popular, most loved, and most successful. Everybody is saying that my first year in office has been one long winning streak for our great country. The stock market is skyrocketing, because of me; our tax code finally makes sense, because of me; ISIS is defeated, because of me; we are taking control of our borders, because of me; violent crime is way down and our inner cities are being reborn, because of me; the middle-class is growing by leaps and bounds, because of me. In one year I have accomplished more than my predecessor did in eight years. Just goes to show what can happen when a real American, who also happens to be a genius -- a very stable genius -- occupies the White House.

-Our ratings are great, we’re breaking records every day. You may have seen that Apple will soon invest $550 billion in manufacturing plants here in America, which means hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of great jobs for American workers. Think of it, very soon, American workers in Wichita and Youngstown and Camden will be assembling iPhones for the world. This is phenomenal, and something my predecessor could never have accomplished because he never understood the art of the deal.

-America is winning again, and winning large, like my favorite NFL team, the New England Patriots. In my first year in office I met with more world leaders and logged more air miles than any president in modern history, and wherever I traveled, people lined the streets, waving, showing their love for me and my brilliant administration and our great country. The people of Saudi Arabia love me, the jews of Israel love me like one of their own, and the inhabitants of Puerto Rico view me as their savior. We are winning across the globe because I put America first like no previous president has done. Who else but me could toss rolls of paper towels to the people like I did when I personally organized the recovery and rebuilding of Puerto Rico, which, I might add, has been a tremendous success. Puerto Rico is back on track.

-Because I always put America first, I pulled our country out of the Paris Climate deal, a terrible deal, and look what happened: our economy is booming, blacks are doing better than ever, women are doing better than ever. All because of me. And while we’re on the subject of women, people are always saying how much I respect women, which is true, nobody respects women more than I do. This is why ten days or so ago women gathered in the streets by the tens of thousands all across the country to march in support of my administration. The fake news media reported that women were protesting, but we know the truth, don’t we?

-A lot of people are saying that my administration is the most transparent and ethical in American history, filled with individuals of the highest personal qualities, very fine people, who would never place private gain above public good. Only I could drain the Washington swamp in a year. Another promise kept. My administration is a well-oiled machine the likes of which has never been seen before. This is why I have passed more legislation in my first year than any other president.

-On the international front the United States has never been more respected. Iran and North Korea understand that I will not tolerate any threat to our great country. My generals, how I love my generals, are prepared to defend America from any foreign threat, and our fighting men and women are the best the world has ever seen. A lot of people are saying that the morale and spirit of our military forces has improved since I became commander-in-chief. I am not afraid to use our military power, including nuclear weapons. Every one of our enemies should know this. I hope Little Rocket Man is listening very carefully.

-Never has our great country been more united. We are one nation under a benevolent God who protects and keeps us safe from the evil in this world. Only I could make this happen, as only I know how to make America great again. All you need to know is that as long as I’m president, we will keep winning. Thank you, and may God Bless the United States of America, and me, of course, your very own dear leader.

State of Disunion or The Great American Circle Jerk

With assistance from a bottle of zinfandel, I watched the entire State of the Union address, an event that always strikes me as a somewhat silly spectacle -- the ruling class coming together in order to congratulate itself. The pols shake hands and slap one another on the back, and even those that despise one another make nice for the TV cameras. I wonder how many of them are drunk on expensive booze provided by industry lobbyists. I wonder why John Boehner from Ohio looks like he just returned from a week in the Bahamas – but of course Boehner always looks like that, so a better question is: how much time does this jackass spend in a tanning salon? Why does the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court look so smug?

As Obama found his rhythm and laid out a laundry list of initiatives that will never come to pass, one could easily get the impression that things in America, Inc., are hunky-dory. The financial meltdown was bad, but it could have been worse if the Obama Administration had not acted as it did. I was encouraged to hear Obama admit that he hated the big bank bailout, though last I looked Timothy Geithner and Larry Summers were still on his economic team, and that Wall Street-adoring-duo seems to believe that the bank rescue was a perfectly acceptable and wise use of taxpayer money.

Obama tossed crumbs to this group and that, a tax cut here, a small business assist there, all designed to give the appearance of forward momentum, though never was the prevailing order seriously challenged. The rules and parameters of the game remain the same.

I was pleased to hear Obama remind (finally!) the Republicans of the deep hole his administration started in – a hole dug by eight years of Bush-Cheney and Republican majority misrule and corruption. Lest we forget the Bush-Cheney-GOP scorecard: two costly wars, a ruined financial sector, anemic job growth, huge debt, and runaway health care costs. On the other hand, I was dumbfounded when Obama stumped for “safe” nuclear power (no such thing), expanded off shore oil drilling, and the myth of “clean” coal. That’s not the change in energy or environmental policy I voted for.

Obama makes a fine speech, no doubt about it, but what happens now? Will he retreat to the sidelines once again and allow lobbyists and Congress to dominate the agenda? Times are bad, make no mistake – you only have to look at California to understand how bad – and we desperately need a president who can channel FDR, not Herbert Hoover.

It’s hard to argue with Obama’s assertion that Washington has created a deficit of trust. Polls consistently make clear that Americans want a comprehensive publicly funded health insurance system like Medicare, but the politicians won’t deliver it – and even worse, few of them, including Obama himself, are brave enough to try. Expanding Medicare for all Americans was never on the table.

The real State of the Union circle jerk takes place in the media – before the speech and for days thereafter, on talk radio and all the major TV networks. The coverage and commentary on Fox News is the most out of touch with reality, as if Hannity and Company watched an entirely different speech. CNN’s coverage takes top prize for sheer ridiculousness – with its large cast of talking heads, high tech props, and breathless analysis of Twitter messages. Sweet Jesus, no wonder the American people are so easily duped.

I don’t quit, Obama said, and the American people don’t quit. I’m sure about the latter – at least when the people are allowed to play the game fairly and with a stake in the outcome. For the past thirty years, however, the game has been rigged in favor of the wealthy, in favor of corporate power, in favor of the few at the expense of the many. The balance of power has tilted too drastically to one side, and so the ship of state lists, takes on water, and threatens to sink.

State of the Status Quo

The State of the Union address is an odd and atavistic piece of political theatre. I know of no institution other than the United States Congress that gives itself a standing ovation for doing absolutely nothing. Stand up, clap, sit down, clap, stand up – you get the idea; it’s about as silly as your average high school graduation ceremony. Watching men and women who can’t agree on anything -- and will without a moment’s hesitation screw one another, not to mention the people whose interests they purport to represent – laughing, smiling and yukking it up is disgusting.

To be honest, I missed Dick Cheney’s scowl and George W. Bush’s tortured sentences; I missed the stark contrast between good and evil, black and white, cowboy and Indian; I missed the hubris and the absolute certainty that Bush displayed in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

As my seven-year-old daughter says, “Those were good times, bro, good times.”

Well, not really. It’s not comforting or inspiring to know that the leader of your nation is a corrupt moron.

Obama did his best to stem the naked Fear that is sweeping across the land. The fat is deep in the fire and most people are hip to the fact that the “stimulus” package alone probably won’t succeed in lifting the nation from the doldrums. Obama said as much. But then, Obama said a lot of things; some that made Democrats leap to their feet, others that were designed to reassure Republicans that he isn’t a crazed Marxist intent on dismantling American capitalism.

Obama didn’t throw out words like “Accountability,” “Responsibility” or “Private Enterprise” by accident.

He didn’t talk about reducing the size of the Federal deficit by chance either, even though the odds of that happening in the next few years are longer than the odds of the Oakland Raiders winning next year’s Super Bowl.

Democrats wet their pants when Obama laid out a three-legged strategy for an American renaissance: energy independence, health care reform and a renewed emphasis on education. I can’t disagree with that trio, but the pragmatist within me knows it’s easy to propose such initiatives, and next to impossible to turn them into effective legislation. In this country, nothing is harder to change than the status quo. Americans don’t do what’s sensible and morally right – Americans do what’s profitable.

How much interest do you think American energy conglomerates have in renewable fuels when the petroleum status quo pays them handsomely; they will fight tooth and nail to protect that Golden Goose. Same goes for health care. Obama didn’t specify what his health care reform plan might look like, though the only sensible, cost-effective system is Universal care like that found in every nation in the industrialized world. But again, American insurance companies have an enormous profit stake in the status quo, no matter how sick, broken and inefficient it may be.

There’s a reason we’ve been talking about Universal health care since Harry Truman occupied the White House, just as there’s a reason we’ve talked about alternative sources of energy since the early 1970’s. If the lobbyists, shills, PR flaks and congress people have their way, we’ll be talking until 100 million Americans have no medical insurance and gasoline costs $8.25 a gallon.

You don’t believe that corporations would place their narrow interests above the interests of the nation as a whole? When the camera cut away from Obama and framed John Boehner and Eric Cantor, what do you think those two gentlemen were talking about? “Reform health care! Sure, sure that will happen when pigs sprout wings and pigeons stop shitting on statues.” Boehner and Cantor were having a grand time swapping strategies to protect their campaign contributors from any measure that smacks of “reform.”

Other than when he mentioned “clean coal,” a fantasy on a par with Ronald Reagan’s infatuation with the Star Wars missile defense shield, Obama made the kind of speech we’ve come to expect from him. I want to believe that Obama can inspire the country to wake up and make meaningful changes, but I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.