Questionnaire for Potential Participants in a Town Hall Meeting
With President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney
SAVING SOCIAL SECURITY
Dear Community Member:
As you are probably aware, President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney will be visiting your community soon to discuss the Bush administration’s revolutionary plan to reform Social Security.
In order to insure a lively and provocative exchange of ideas, the President’s advance team is conducting this survey to weed out malcontents, terrorists, drug abusers, gay marriage advocates, unattractive butch lesbians, and any others deemed a security risk to our great leaders.
Please answer all of the following questions completely and truthfully.
From which of the following media outlets do you get the bulk of your news?
A. Fox News B. Wall Street Journal C. National Review D. Al Jazeera
Who do you consider the greatest American president since Ronald Reagan?
A. George W. Bush__ B. George W. Bush__ C. George W. Bush__
Do you believe that Iraq and Saddam Hussein posed a grave & imminent threat to the security of the United States?
A. Yes__ B. Yes__
Do you believe that President Bush shamelessly panders to the Religious Right?
A. No__ B. No__
Did you weep when Richard Nixon died?
Yes__
For corporate CEO’s only: How many American jobs have you outsourced to India during the past year?
A. 1-100__ B. 100-500__ C. 500-1000__ D. 1000 or More__
Is America the best and most moral country on this planet?
Yes__ B. Yes__
Thank you for your participation. Depending on the outcome of an FBI and CIA background investigation, you may be contacted by a member of the President’s advance team. At that time you will receive further instructions and will also be required to submit to a polygraph test.
If chosen to participate in the town hall meeting, you must be willing to provide urine and blood samples at your own expense.
Sincerely,
P. Ignacio Garnicke
President’s Advance Team
With President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney
SAVING SOCIAL SECURITY
Dear Community Member:
As you are probably aware, President George W. Bush and Vice-President Dick Cheney will be visiting your community soon to discuss the Bush administration’s revolutionary plan to reform Social Security.
In order to insure a lively and provocative exchange of ideas, the President’s advance team is conducting this survey to weed out malcontents, terrorists, drug abusers, gay marriage advocates, unattractive butch lesbians, and any others deemed a security risk to our great leaders.
Please answer all of the following questions completely and truthfully.
From which of the following media outlets do you get the bulk of your news?
A. Fox News B. Wall Street Journal C. National Review D. Al Jazeera
Who do you consider the greatest American president since Ronald Reagan?
A. George W. Bush__ B. George W. Bush__ C. George W. Bush__
Do you believe that Iraq and Saddam Hussein posed a grave & imminent threat to the security of the United States?
A. Yes__ B. Yes__
Do you believe that President Bush shamelessly panders to the Religious Right?
A. No__ B. No__
Did you weep when Richard Nixon died?
Yes__
For corporate CEO’s only: How many American jobs have you outsourced to India during the past year?
A. 1-100__ B. 100-500__ C. 500-1000__ D. 1000 or More__
Is America the best and most moral country on this planet?
Yes__ B. Yes__
Thank you for your participation. Depending on the outcome of an FBI and CIA background investigation, you may be contacted by a member of the President’s advance team. At that time you will receive further instructions and will also be required to submit to a polygraph test.
If chosen to participate in the town hall meeting, you must be willing to provide urine and blood samples at your own expense.
Sincerely,
P. Ignacio Garnicke
President’s Advance Team
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